My son wants me to write this story. It seems trivial. But he’s a statistics guy and if he says it’s important, I believe him.
When I was learning to trust G-d, it didn’t come easy. It was a slow process with missteps, mixed directions, and, all in all, still perfect.
I’d have an insight, and then I’d analyze, overthink, and get myself all confused. My friend Reggie, who had become something of a spiritual mentor, often joked I was getting into the “brambles”, and that is could be much simpler. She offered,
Walk the well worn path with brush, thorns, and protrusions and get all scratched up?
OR, I could take the clear path which involved turning to G0D.
The brambly path was so much more familiar and it actually seemed right. Safer.
What did she mean about “turning to G0D”? How could I possibly not go down this brambles path… the one where I worked overtime to get my desired results?
Here’s where the bathroom comes in.
I was on a mission to fix my house. I had redone my kitchen and it had been a painful experience. Things went wrong, there were miscommunications and a lot of anxiety.
It did turn out pretty!
Now I was fixing up my bathroom.
I began down the same path of anxiety, how do I make decisions? So much to decide… tiles, window treatments, bathtubs and more. Don’t even mention paint colors!
I found making even the littlest of decisions hard. There was also the backdrop of my marriage having broken apart and the very big pain of that. I struggled over all the remodeling details, trying to create a beautiful outside to counter my grieving inside.
One day, while I was obsessing over something or other, Reggie made the unusual statement that I was going to do this bathroom remodel hand in hand with G0D. I would build my relationship with G0D by trusting him with something relatively small like a bathroom.
I didn’t think she really understood what she was dealing with! The gravity of these miniscule decisions was not little to me. I kept her advice in mind, but continued my comprehensive weighing and researching on each and every selection.
Fast Forward…it became time to pick a bathtub. It was Tuesday and the wonderful contractor needed to know which tub to order by the following Monday… six days away! I was worried. This was the crown jewel of the bathroom and I wanted the perfect tub. I was convinced by internet and friends’ remodeling advice that I had to actually lie down in a tub before buying to make sure it was just the right fit! Find and lay down in the exact brand, width, length, shape, etc. I had exhausted the bathroom warehouses in mine and adjacent vicinities and still had not found one I wanted.
How was I going to make a decision?
Walking my two dogs, a block and a half from my house, Reggie’s advice popped into my mind.
I remember just where I was…
“You’re doing this bathroom hand in hand with G0D.”
This is ludicrous. How could G0D possibly help me? What the heck was G0D going to do with a bathtub?
And still, I was determined to stick with my new resolve. If I was going to develop my trust in G0D, have a personal relationships, it was going to have to start somewhere. I could admit a bathtub was a pretty low-risk venture. If I could trust G0D with this, I supposed it could grow from there. The bathtub felt far from trivial…and yet…. perhaps…
I gave the bathtub over to G0D.
I walked home completely perplexed how this could possibly work.
As I came back into the house, it occurred to me… I haven’t been to New York in years. I loved New York. The last time I had been there, I had promised myself I would take a trip every year. Yet I had not gone back in seven! Maybe I could take a little joyful trip to New York, and just maybe they’d have the bathtub I wanted too!
I looked on the internet for the brand of bathtubs I wanted in New York, and Eureka!!! Two pages filled up with stores carrying Americh, my brand!
Where I lived AND the surrounding areas, they had just a tiny handful of these tubs. But it seemed New York was their mecca!
Overwhelmed with two whole pages of stores carrying Americh tubs, my brambly path would have had me call every one. I reminded myself G0D had this, whatever the heck that meant, and decided, well the non-brambly path might be just call the first store listed.
They had just about every single bathtub I was interested in, in their warehouse, on their floor, in the exact length, width, style, and shape I wanted. What were the chances?!
Next plan a trip to New York, pronto! I asked my ex-husband and he was able to take care of our two sons. Then on a whim I called my friend Reggie and asked if she’d like to take a trip to NYC with me. “Yes”, she said. Cool! “Can you leave tomorrow?”, I asked. To my surprise, she said, “Yes”. On a whim, I thought it’d be fun to take a little vacation. “Can you stay longer…two days…three days?” “Yes, Yes.” We ended up staying five days, and it was joyful fun exquisite trip.
I gave G0D a bathtub fearful that I’d come home empty handed, albeit having gotten a little break and a much needed New York excursion.
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